The Kiwi Killer

I love kiwis and innumerable articles tell me I should be able to grow them here in Mallorca. Admittedly most writers caution that it takes time and patience to establish these plants, but I can be patient when it comes to green things.

I planted my first kiwi close to the house where I would see it regularly and respond quickly to its every need. It died. I tried a couple further down the garden, on a different terrace, thinking the soil might suit them better. They died. I tried another beside a sheltered wall. It died. Finally I got serious, asked my husband to build a pergola for my flourishing kiwi farm to climb over and bought three male and five female plants. For three years I gave them the utmost dedication, they grew around the pergola engaging in sporadic bouts of energy which got me tremendously excited but never resulted in a flower let alone a fruit. Now, they’ve died.

“Cut your losses and plant some runner beans,” my husband suggested last week. So, although I feel it’s late in the season to start beans I put a few in a pot and within 48 hours they erupted through the soil and are looking healthier than any kiwi plant that’s ever graced my garden.Image

I promise to stop murdering kiwi plants forthwith and the pergola will finally become a useful garden object for runner beans and then climbing Borlotto beans – which you can dry and then use throughout the year. Sometimes a gardener has to accept defeat!

… However, if anyone has some tips that can guarantee long life and heavy fruiting, I might be persuaded to have one last try!

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